17 - Why Removing Negative People is Essential for Building Your Dream Life

In every phase of life, we encounter different types of people. Some uplift and inspire us, while others seem to drain our energy and joy. The latter are what we often refer to as 'negative people.' Learning to distance yourself from such individuals is crucial for maintaining your mental health and overall well-being, especially as you begin creating your dream life. 

When you make changes, you will no doubt hear lots of peoples opinions and comments about what they think of it all. They may not understand that you have a dream, and a well thought out plan to change and create something awesome for yourself. 

Whilst it sounds unbelievable, people often hate to see others succeed. 

“What?! Really?”

That’s right, it can make them feel lazy, stagnant or like a failure so rather than taking action themselves, they sprinkle some negativity on your plans instead. 

You need to take action to surround yourself with positive people who support and champion you, whilst also reducing the amount of negative people that zap your energy and bring you down. You may decide to keep quiet around some people until you feel confident in yourself and your place in your journey before sharing. If you do this, make sure you have a few champions that can support you when you need it. I have shared previously that I have my little group of friends who I found during some training, we are all driven towards making changes in our lives, and despite our dreams being very different, we all support each other. 

Here are some strategies to effectively remove negative people from your life:

Firstly, it's important to identify the negative influence. Pay attention to how you feel after interacting with certain people. If you consistently feel drained, stressed, or unhappy, it’s a clear sign that they might be negative influences.

Unfortunately, negative individuals can creep into our lives without us even realising it. They might be friends, family members, or colleagues who unknowingly project their negativity onto us. They might not be conscious of their pessimism and the impact it has. This is why it's crucial to remain aware of their impact, and proactive in limiting our time with them. 

When you begin to recognise it, it becomes easier to spot. A neighbour we once had, would complain about everything! “It’s too sunny, I can't clean my windows”, “it’s too rainy, I can’t go outside”, “don’t walk on the grass, you’ll get Lyme Disease”. Not one thing was ever positive! And the funny thing, my children recognised it too, and then began recognising negativity in themselves and in others. From knowledge, comes understanding and the ability to create positive change. 

Setting boundaries truly helps. Be clear about what behaviour you will and will not tolerate. Communicate these boundaries calmly but firmly, and don’t be afraid to reinforce them if necessary. I understand that this may not be comfortable, and I recognise that in the past I have not done this step due to fear, and instead have stepped away.

This is another strategy, where you can choose to limit your interaction with negative individuals. You don't need to cut off all contact immediately, but start by limiting your interactions. Spend less time with these individuals and avoid engaging in activities or discussions as they will likely lead to negative outcomes. 

When the time feels right, be honest and compassionate with the person about why you need to distance yourself. Sometimes, people are unaware of their negative impact and may be open to change. If they are not, then that is OK too. You can move on knowing that you are making a change in your life for the best. 

Surround yourself with people who have a positive impact on your life. Their energy and outlook can counterbalance the negativity and make it easier to phase out the less positive influences. I am very lucky that my partner Jem is a ray of sunshine. Yes, he has bad days too, but he is always kind and supportive of everything I and the children do.  

Sometimes, negative people maintain their hold by engaging you in gossip or negative talk. Oh how people like to gossip! Whilst I don’t like or see the point in gossip, others love it. I can say the same for TV programmes that are full of story lines that drain your energy. If you are watching negativity, it will be seeping into you too. Refrain from participating in such conversations or habits and steer towards more positive or neutral subjects.

Removing negative individuals from your life can be emotionally taxing. Seek support from people you can trust. Friends, family, a therapist or coach can help guide you through and stay firm in your decisions. It wasn’t until I spoke to a therapist a few years ago that I realised that I was putting lots of effort into relationships that no longer served me, and I knew that I couldn’t create my dream life with this negativity pulling me back. My therapist helped me to understand that I needed to create space and a positive environment to move forward, and that is what I did. 

Removing negative people from your life is not an easy task, but it is essential for your mental and emotional health. It is down to you to create a healthier and more fulfilling environment for yourself, but you don't have to do it alone. Remember, it's okay to put your well-being first and seek the happiness and peace you deserve.

Can you resonate? I would love to hear your view, reach out at [email protected] and share your story, or book a discovery call today following the link below. 

Always with love,

Elsa x