21 - Is a fear of failure, or success holding you back from your dream life?

Have you ever found yourself stuck, not moving forward with a big idea or dream? Have you ever considered that a fear of failure is what’s holding you back? Perhaps it be that you're actually scared of success.

I like to think that I am a motivated person, and yes there are times when I lack motivation too! In one of the popular profiling assessments I have completed in my corporate job it was clear that I am more of a strategic and "futuristic" thinker. Through this, I know that I need to have something exciting and motivational that I am driving towards. Over the years I have found that this has helped me to make progress despite my fears. 

But there are some things that hold us back from making progress, and it is not always the fear of failure, sometimes it can be the fear of success. "What if I change?", "Can I handle the extra responsibility?", "What if I lose it all?". 

Let’s take a look at how both fears of success and failure can impact our ability to succeed. This is most critical as you start to build your dream life.

The Fear of Failure

We’re all familiar with it. Fear of failure can freeze us in our tracks. What if we mess up? What if we don’t meet expectations? These questions swirl around our heads, making us doubt our abilities and decisions.

Failure has such a negative connotation, but let's do a little re-frame here. Failure isn't the end, it's a stepping stone. Each mistake is a lesson learned, an opportunity to grow, and a chance to get closer to our goals. When we view failure as a part of the journey rather than a catastrophic end, it loses its power over us.

Just take a breath, and go for it. Learn, adapt, move on. 

The Fear of Success

Now, this might sound a bit counter intuitive, right? Who wouldn’t want to succeed? But success can be just as daunting as failure, if not more so.

Think about it, success comes with its own set of challenges. It means higher stakes, more responsibilities, and often, stepping into a new version of yourself. Sometimes, we subconsciously resist success because of the pressure it can bring. I have met countless people who tie their identity to their past, and are scared to lose the reason (or excuse) for not being good enough, bright enough, successful enough.

Questions like "What if I can’t handle it?" or "What will others expect from me now?" begin to surface. These fears can be just as paralysing as the fear of failure. 

Just take a breath, and go for it. Learn, adapt, move on.

Embracing Both

The key to moving forward is to embrace both potential outcomes. Understand that:

• Failure is a Learning Tool: Each setback is teaching you something valuable. Fail fast and adapt.
• Success is a Journey: It brings new adventures and challenges that help you grow even more.

It's not about choosing one over the other. It's about recognising that both are part of your journey as your build your dream life. 

Moving Past the Fear

Here are a few tips to help you tackle these fears:

• Set realistic, yet stretching goals: Understand that both failure and success are part of the path forward if you want to grow and build an exceptional life.
• Visualise Success: Regularly envision the positive outcomes and how you’ll handle them.
• Build a Support System: Surround yourself with people who support and uplift you.
• Take Small Steps: Break your goals into smaller, more manageable tasks. Each small win will build your confidence.
• Plan For Failure: Run through possible scenarios and mitigation's so you are more prepared if things don't go to plan.
• Others May See Your Potential Where You Can't: Trust in those that believe in you. Say yes to every opportunity. 

So, what’s holding you back from taking that next big leap in life? Is it the fear of failure or success? Either way, remind yourself that fear is just a sign that you’re on the edge of something great. Embrace it and keep pushing forward. 

I will keep reminding myself of this as I launch my first online course in the coming weeks, as I build something I truly believe in. Success is scary, but changing lives and following my vision trumps that.  

Let me know what you have been putting off due to fear of failure or success at [email protected]

Always with love, 

Elsa x