33 - Why Some People Don't Want to See You Succeed

Success is a journey that often requires hard work, resilience, and a strong support system. However, as you start to make changes in your life, embrace new opportunities, and start seeing success, you might encounter individuals who seem less than enthusiastic about your achievements or changes you're making. I have experienced this myself, it is not enjoyable and so I carried out some research and wanted to share this with you.

It may be one thing, or it may be a few things combined, but whatever your situation – don’t let anyone else de-rail your career and life plans!

Insecurity and Comparison

Insecurity is a common reason why some individuals may struggle with someone else’s success. When people feel insecure about their own abilities or accomplishments, they may compare themselves to you. Witnessing your success can magnify their insecurities, making them feel as though their efforts are lacking by comparison.

I like to cram a lot into my life, family, career, coaching, hobbies, and I love it. But I have had plenty of criticism over the years from others who pale in comparison. I totally get that my style is not for everyone! And that is ok, I am driven and motivated and if that makes someone else feel they are lacking in comparison then that sits with them, and not me. Don’t let others hold you back, you can achieve anything you want in your life.

Fear of Change

People often dislike change, especially when it comes to others' transformations. Maybe you have taken on a new job or changed careers completely.  Your change can disrupt existing dynamics, causing discomfort for those who preferred the status quo, maybe with those closest to you such as spouses and family. This fear of the unknown can lead them to resist or even criticise your growth.

If people closest to you are struggling with a change you have made, bring them along on your journey with you. When I told my partner Jem that I wanted to launch a website, blog and coaching business, it would have been easy for him to criticize or be unsupportive. But I talked him through my thought process and why it was so important to me. I answered his questions, and he has helped me on my journey every step of the way.

Scarcity Mindset

A scarcity mindset is the belief that there's a limited amount of success to go around. Individuals with this mindset might perceive your achievements (such as earning a promotion) as a threat to their own potential opportunities, fostering resentment rather than celebration.

As my career has developed, I have taken on more senior roles. Reality is that there are not as many of them around the higher you reach in an organisation. If you continue with a growth mindset, always learn and develop, do your best AND smash your interview, then your time will come. Not everyone will be supportive, but you don’t need them to be.

Lack of Self-Reflection

Without self-reflection, some people may struggle to define their goals and desires. When they see you taking concrete steps to improve yourself or advance your career, it can serve as an unsettling reminder of their own stagnation, making them resistant to supporting your evolution.

I am so clear on my personal and professional objectives that it makes some people really uncomfortable. I get it. I have put in a lot of work to get to where I am today, I have a wonderful life, and I have big dreams. But many others don’t know what they want or come to that realisation when I can share what I want in a simple sentence or two. I use tactics such as toning it down a little, pointing them to some useful resources if they are curious, or politely moving on if they are not.

Breaking the Cycle

Understanding these motivations can help you to respond with empathy and tact when faced with negativity. Here are a few strategies to help:

• Lead by Example: Continue pursuing your goals with integrity and positivity, setting an example for others to follow.
• Remind Yourself of your Why: You are pursuing change and growth for a reason. Remind yourself often of your “why” to help stay motivated.
• Offer Encouragement: Sometimes, a kind word or gesture can alleviate someone's insecurities and inspire them to focus on their own path.
• Cultivate a Supportive Network: Surround yourself with individuals who celebrate your successes and encourage your growth.
• Set Boundaries: Protect your energy by setting boundaries with those who consistently bring negativity into your life.
• Practice Gratitude: Regularly remind yourself of the progress you've made and the kindness of those who support you.

Embracing change and achieving success are parts of your life's journey. Not only do we need to banish our own limiting beliefs and negative thoughts, but unfortunately sometimes we need to overcome others too.

Focus on your progress, your positive impact and keep pushing forward knowing that you are setting a powerful example and with consistent progress you will achieve your goals.

If you are struggling to overcome negative influences in your life, or would like more support don’t hesitate to get in contact at [email protected] I am here to help.

Always with love,
Elsa x